Homehunter967

1. Influential People
2. Win Friends And Influence People Dale Carnegie Bangla Pdf Version
3. Win Friends And Influence People Dale Carnegie Bangla Pdf Download

How to Win Friends and Influence People is a self-help book written by Dale Carnegie, published in 1936. Over 30 million copies have been sold worldwide, making it one of the best-selling books of all time.^[1] In 2011, it was number 19 on Time Magazine's list of the 100 most influential books.^[2]

Carnegie had been conducting business education courses in New York since 1912.^[3] In 1934, Leon Shimkin of the publishing firm Simon & Schuster took one of Carnegie's 14-week courses on human relations and public speaking;^[3] afterward, Shimkin persuaded Carnegie to let a stenographer take notes from the course to be revised for publication. The initial five thousand copies^[3] of the book sold exceptionally well, going through 17 editions in its first year alone.

In 1981, a revised edition containing updated language and anecdotes was released.^[4] The revised edition reduced the number of sections from six to four, eliminating sections on effective business letters and improving marital satisfaction.

Major sections and points[edit]

In this book, the Author Dale Carnegie teaches how you can make people like you, win people over to your way of thinking, and change people without causing offense or arousing resentment. He also emphasizes fundamental techniques for handling people without making them feel manipulated. Carnegie illustrates his points with. How to Win Friends and Influence People except to make a few excisions and add a few more contemporary examples. The brash, breezy Carnegie style is intact – even the thirties slang is still there. Dale Carnegie wrote as he spoke, in an intensively exuberant, colloquial, conversational manner.

Twelve Things This Book Will Do For You[edit]

1. Get you out of a mental rut, give you new thoughts, new visions, new ambitions.
2. Enable you to make friends quickly and easily.
3. Increase your popularity.
4. Help you to win people to your way of thinking.
5. Increase your influence, your prestige, your ability to get things done.
6. Enable you to win new clients, new customers.
7. Increase your earning power.
8. Make you a better salesman, a better executive.
9. Help you to handle complaints, avoid arguments, keep your human contacts smooth and pleasant.
10. Make you a better speaker, a more entertaining conversationalist.
11. Make the principles of psychology easy for you to apply in your daily contacts.
12. Help you to arouse enthusiasm among your associates.

The book has six major sections. The core principles of each section are explained and quoted from below.^[5]

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People[edit]

1. Don't criticize, condemn, or complain. Human nature does not like to admit fault. When people are criticized or humiliated, they rarely respond well and will often become defensive and resent their critic. To handle people well, we must never criticize, condemn or complain because it will never result in the behavior we desire.
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation. Appreciation is one of the most powerful tools in the world. People will rarely work at their maximum potential under criticism, but honest appreciation brings out their best. Appreciation, though, is not simple flattery, it must be sincere, meaningful and with love.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want. To get what we want from another person, we must forget our own perspective and begin to see things from the point of view of others. When we can combine our desires with their wants, they become eager to work with us and we can mutually achieve our objectives.

Six Ways to Make People Like You[edit]

1. Become genuinely interested in other people. 'You can make more friends in two months by being interested in them, than in two years by making them interested in you.'^[6]:52 The only way to make quality, lasting friendships is to learn to be genuinely interested in them and their interests.
2. Smile. Happiness does not depend on outside circumstances, but rather on inward attitudes. Smiles are free to give and have an amazing ability to make others feel wonderful. Smile in everything that you do.
3. Remember that a person's name is, to that person, the sweetest and most important sound in any language. 'The average person is more interested in their own name than in all the other names in the world put together.'^[6]:73 People love their names so much that they will often donate large amounts of money just to have a building named after themselves. We can make people feel extremely valued and important by remembering their name.
4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves. The easiest way to become a good conversationalist is to become a good listener. To be a good listener, we must actually care about what people have to say. Many times people don't want an entertaining conversation partner; they just want someone who will listen to them.
5. Talk in terms of the other person's interest. The royal road to a person's heart is to talk about the things he or she treasures most. If we talk to people about what they are interested in, they will feel valued and value us in return.
6. Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely. The golden rule is to treat other people how we would like to be treated. We love to feel important and so does everyone else. People will talk to us for hours if we allow them to talk about themselves. If we can make people feel important in a sincere and appreciative way, then we will win all the friends we could ever dream of.

Twelve Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking[edit]

1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it. Whenever we argue with someone, no matter if we win or lose the argument, we still lose. The other person will either feel humiliated or strengthened and will only seek to bolster their own position. We must try to avoid arguments whenever we can.
2. Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say 'You're wrong.' We must never tell people flat out that they are wrong. It will only serve to offend them and insult their pride. No one likes to be humiliated; we must not be so blunt.
3. If you're wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically. Whenever we are wrong we should admit it immediately. When we fight we never get enough, but by yielding we often get more than we expected. When we admit that we are wrong people trust us and begin to sympathize with our way of thinking.
4. Begin in a friendly way. 'A drop of honey can catch more flies than a gallon of gall.'^[6]:143 If we begin our interactions with others in a friendly way, people will be more receptive. Even if we are greatly upset, we must be friendly to influence people to our way of thinking.
5. Start with questions to which the other person will answer yes. Do not begin by emphasizing the aspects in which we and the other person differ. Begin by emphasizing and continue emphasizing the things on which we agree. People must be started in the affirmative direction and they will often follow readily. Never tell someone they are wrong, but rather lead them where we would like them to go with questions that they will answer 'yes' to.
6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking. People do not like listening to us boast, they enjoy doing the talking themselves. Let them rationalize and talk about the idea, because it will taste much sweeter to them in their own mouth.
7. Let the other person feel the idea is his or hers. People inherently like ideas they come to on their own better than those that are handed to them on a platter. Ideas can best be carried out by allowing others to think they arrived at it themselves.
8. Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view. Other people may often be wrong, but we cannot condemn them. We must seek to understand them. Success in dealing with people requires a sympathetic grasp of the other person's viewpoint.
9. Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires. People are hungering for sympathy. They want us to recognize all that they desire and feel. If we can sympathize with others, they will appreciate our side as well and will often come around to our way of thinking.
10. Appeal to the nobler motives. Everyone likes to be glorious in their own eyes. People believe that they do things for noble and morally upright reasons. If we can appeal to others' noble motives we can successfully convince them to follow our ideas.
11. Dramatize your ideas. In this fast-paced world, simply stating a truth isn't enough. The truth must be made vivid, interesting, and dramatic. Television has been doing it for years. Sometimes ideas are not enough and we must dramatize them.
12. Throw down a challenge. The thing that most motivates people is the game. Everyone desires to excel and prove their worth. If we want someone to do something, we must give them a challenge and they will often rise to meet it.

Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment[edit]

1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation. People will do things begrudgingly for criticism and an iron-fisted leader, but they will work wonders when they are praised and appreciated.
2. Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly. No one likes to make mistakes, especially in front of others. Scolding and blaming only serve to humiliate. If we subtly and indirectly show people mistakes, they will appreciate us and be more likely to improve.
3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person. When something goes wrong, taking responsibility can help win others to your side. People do not like to shoulder all the blame and taking credit for mistakes helps to remove the sting from our critiques of others.
4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders. No one likes to take orders. If we offer suggestions, rather than orders, it will boost others' confidence and allow them to learn quickly from their mistakes.
5. Let the other person save face. Nothing diminishes the dignity of a man quite like an insult to his pride. If we don't condemn our employees in front of others and allow them to save face, they will be motivated to do better in the future and confident that they can.
6. Praise every improvement. People love to receive praise and admiration. If we truly want someone to improve at something, we must praise their every advance. 'Abilities wither under criticism, they blossom under encouragement.'^[7]
7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to. If we give people a great reputation to live up to, they will desire to embody the characteristics with which we have described them. People will work with vigor and confidence if they believe they can be better.
8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct. If a desired outcome seems like a momentous task, people will give up and lose heart. But if a fault seems easy to correct, they will readily jump at the opportunity to improve. If we frame objectives as small and easy improvements, we will see dramatic increases in desire and success in our employees.
9. Make the other person happy about doing what you suggest. People will most often respond well when they desire to do the behavior put forth. If we want to influence people and become effective leaders, we must learn to frame our desires in terms of others' desires.

Letters That Produced Miraculous Results[edit]

In this chapter, the shortest in the book, Carnegie analyzes two letters and describes how to appeal to someone with the term 'do me a favor' as opposed to directly asking for something which does not offer the same feeling of importance to the recipient of the request.

Seven Rules for Making Your Home Life Happier[edit]

1. Don't nag.
2. Don't try to make your partner over.
3. Don't criticize.
4. Give honest appreciation.
5. Pay little attentions.
6. Be courteous.
7. Read a good book on the sexual side of marriage.

Origins[edit]

Before How to Win Friends and Influence People was released, the genre of self-help books had an ample heritage. Authors such as Orison Swett Marden, and Samuel Smiles had enormous success with their self-help books in the late 19th and early 20th centuries.

Dale Carnegie began his career not as a writer, but as a teacher of public speaking. He started out teaching night classes at a YMCA in New York and his classes became wildly popular and highly attended. The success of the classes in New York prompted YMCAs in Philadelphia and Baltimore to begin hosting the course as well.^[8] After even greater success, Carnegie decided to begin teaching the courses on his own at hotels in London, Paris, New York, Boston, Philadelphia, and Baltimore.

Because he could not find any satisfactory handbook already in publication, Carnegie originally began writing small booklets to go along with his courses.^[9] After one of his 14-week courses, he was approached by publisher Leon Shimkin of the publishing house Simon & Schuster.^[10] Shimkin urged Carnegie to write a book, but he was not initially persuaded. Shimkin then hired a stenographer to type up what he heard in one of Carnegie's long lectures and presented the transcript to Carnegie.^[11] Dale Carnegie liked the transcript so much he decided to edit and revise it into a final form.^[12] He wanted it to be extremely practical and interesting to read.

To market the book, Shimkin decided to send 500 copies of the book to former graduates of the Dale Carnegie Course, with a note that pointed out the utility of the book for refreshing students with the advice they had learned.^[13]:141 The 500 mailed copies brought orders for over 5,000 more copies of the book and Simon & Schuster had to increase the original print order of 1,200 quickly.^[13]:142 Shimkin also ran a full page ad in the New York Times complete with quotes by Andrew Carnegie and John D. Rockefeller on the importance of human relations.^[14]

Originally published in November 1936, the book reached the New York Times best-seller list by the end of the year, and did not fall off for the next two years.^[13]:141 Simon & Schuster continued to advertise the book relying heavily on testimonials as well as the testable approach the book offered.^[14]

Reception[edit]

Impact[edit]

How to Win Friends and Influence People became one of the most successful books in American history. It went through 17 print editions in its first year of publishing and sold 250,000 copies in the first three months. The book has sold over 30 million copies worldwide since and annually sells in excess of 250,000 copies.^[15] A 2013 Library of Congress survey ranked Carnegie's volume as the seventh most influential book in American history.^[16]

How to Win Friends and Influence People was number eight on the list of 'Top Check Outs OF ALL TIME' by the New York Public Library.^[17]

Critical assessment[edit]

After How to Win Friends and Influence People was published in November 1936 and ascended rapidly on best-seller lists, the New York Times reviewed it in February 1937. They offered a balanced criticism arguing that Carnegie indeed offered insightful advice in dealing with people, but that his wisdom was extremely simple and should not overrule the foundation of actual knowledge.^[18]

The satirical writer Sinclair Lewis waited a year to offer his scathing critique. He described Carnegie's method as teaching people to 'smile and bob and pretend to be interested in other people's hobbies precisely so that you may screw things out of them.'^[19][20] However, despite the criticism, sales continued to soar and the book was talked about and reviewed as it rapidly became mainstream.

Scholarly critique however, was little and oscillated over time. Due to the book's lay appeal, it was not significantly discussed in academic journals. In the early stages of the book's life, the few scholarly reviews that were written explained the contents of the book and attempted to describe what made the book popular.^[21] As time passed however, scholarly reviews became more critical, chiding Carnegie for being insincere and manipulative.^[22]

Despite the lack of attention in academic circles, How to Win Friends and Influence People was written for a popular audience and Carnegie successfully captured the attention of his target. The book experienced mass consumption and appeared in many popular periodicals, including garnering 10 pages in the January 1937 edition of Reader's Digest.^[23]

The book continued to remain at the top of best-seller lists and was even noted in the New York Times to have been extremely successful in Nazi Germany, much to the writer's bewilderment. He wrote that Carnegie would rate 'butter higher than guns as a means of winning friends' something 'diametrically opposite to the official German view.'^[24]

Despite the negative comments from his critics, Carnegie's book established a new genre. Carnegie described his book as an 'action-book' but the category he created has since become known as the self-help genre. Almost every self-help book since has borrowed some type of style or form from Carnegie's 'path-breaking best seller.'^[25]

In popular culture[edit]

• Warren Buffett took the Dale Carnegie course 'How to Win Friends and Influence People' when he was 20 years old, and to this day has the diploma in his office.^[26]
• The title of Lenny Bruce's autobiography, How to Talk Dirty and Influence People is a parody of the title of this book.
• English rock band Terrorvision titled their second album How to Make Friends and Influence People in reference to the book.
• American punk band Screeching Weasel titled their seventh studio album How to Make Enemies and Irritate People as a parody of this book.
• In August 2015, the book was featured on Showtime's Masters of Sex, with portions recited in a voiceover as a main character studies the text.
• The title of Toby Young's memoir How to Lose Friends & Alienate People is a parody of the title of this book. The memoir was also adapted into a 2008 film of the same name starring Simon Pegg.
• An episode from season 7 of Cheers is called 'How to Win Friends and Electrocute People' as a play on the title of the book.
• Season 7 episode 9 of Supernatural is titled 'How to Win Friends and Influence Monsters', in reference to the title of the book.
• Season 2 episode 3 of Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. is titled 'Making Friends and Influencing People', in reference to this book. It aired October 7, 2014.
• The book is referenced in the 2016 film Imperium, in which an undercover FBI agent uses principles from the book to infiltrate an extremist group.
• In the November 2, 2017 episode of Young Sheldon, 'Rockets, Communists, and the Dewey Decimal System', Sheldon Cooper reads the book and attempts to apply its advice to his life.
• A 2018 Wired article about Margit Wennmachers, venture capitalist at Andreessen Horowitz, is titled 'How to Win Founders and Influence Everybody'.^[27]
• The book is said to have greatly influenced the life of television and film actress Donna Reed. It was given to her by her high school chemistry teacher Edward Tompkins to read as a sophomore at Denison (Iowa) High School in 1936. Upon reading it she won the lead in the school play, was voted Campus Queen and was in the top 10 of the 1938 graduating class.^[28]
• Charles Manson used what he learned from the book in prison to manipulate women into killing on his behalf.^[29]

References[edit]

1. ^New York Times, 2011 at https://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/05/books/books-of-the-times-classic-advice-please-leave-well-enough-alone.html
2. ^'How to Win Friends and Influence People'. time.com. 2011. Retrieved March 2, 2021.
3. ^ ^abcCarnegie, Dale (2006). How to win friends & influence people. UK: Vermilion. pp. 12–18. ISBN978-1409005216.
4. ^Walters, Ray (September 5, 1982). 'Paperback Talk'. New York Times. Archived from the original on December 8, 2008. Retrieved April 7, 2008.
5. ^Each section is a paraphrase of the main ideas written and developed by Dale Carnegie. Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People (Gallery: New York, 1998).
6. ^ ^abcCarnegie, Dale (1998). How to Win Friends and Influence People. New York: Gallery.
7. ^Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People New York: Gallery, 1998. 220.
8. ^Lowell Thomas, Shortcut to Distinction Introduction to How to Win Friends and Influence People. (New York: Gallery, 1998) 103.
9. ^Steven Watts, Self-Help Messiah (New York: Other, 2013)
10. ^Korda, Michael (1999). Another Life: A Memoir of Other People. Random House. pp. 149. ISBN9780679456599. It was not for nothing that Shimkin had been the discoverer of Dale Carnegie, whose lectures he had attended with results that changed both Carnegie's life and his own: How to Win Friends and Influence People became the biggest best-seller in S&S's history.
11. ^Silverman, Al (2008). The Time of Their Lives: The Golden Age of Great American Book Publishers, Their Editors, and Authors. Truman Talley. pp. 252–254. ISBN978-0312-35003-1.
12. ^Giles, Kemp. Dale Carnegie (New York: St. Martin's, 1989) 137–141
13. ^ ^abcGiles, Kemp. Dale Carnegie (New York: St. Martin's, 1989)
14. ^ ^ab'Display ad 42 – no title'. New York Times. December 7, 1936. ProQuest101624338.
15. ^Irwyn Applebaum, president of Pocket Books, Simon & Schuster's mass-market arm, cited that sales of the book had been over one million between 1982 and 1986.|work=New York Times, October 25th, 1986. https://www.nytimes.com/1986/10/25/books/reluctant-dale-carnegie-s-50-year-old-classic.html
16. ^Steven Watts, Self-Help Messiah (New York: Other, 2013) 2–4
17. ^https://gothamist.com/arts-entertainment/nypl-most-checked-out-books-ever
18. ^'Miscellaneous Brief Reviews'. New York Times. February 14, 1940. p. 104. ProQuest101971502.
19. ^Sinclair Lewis, quoted in Tom Sant, The Giants of Sales. (New York: AMACOM, 2006) 96.
20. ^Giles, Kemp. Dale Carnegie (New York: St. Martin's, 1989) 152.
21. ^Symons, A. E. 1937. The Australian Quarterly, 9 (3). Australian Institute of Policy and Science: 115–16. doi:10.2307/20629470
22. ^Parker, Gail Thain. 1977. 'How to Win Friends and Influence People: Dale Carnegie and the Problem of Sincerity'. American Quarterly 29 (5). Johns Hopkins University Press: 506–18. doi:10.2307/2712571
23. ^'Display ad 49 – no title'. New York Times. January 25, 1937. ProQuest102017737.
24. ^'Books and Authors'. New York Times. December 29, 1940. p. 1. ProQuest105230738.
25. ^Giles, Kemp. Dale Carnegie (New York: St. Martin's, 1989) 147.
26. ^Lasson, Sally Ann (February 16, 2009). 'Warren Buffet: The secret of the billionaire's success'. The Independent. Archived from the original on April 1, 2013. Retrieved April 8, 2013.
27. ^Hempel, Jessi (January 21, 2018). 'How to Win Founders and Influence Everybody'. Wired. Retrieved March 6, 2019.
28. ^'75-year history of Broadway Elementary building celebrated'. Denison Bulletin-Review. March 20, 2012. Retrieved April 9, 2017.
29. ^Brady, Diane (July 22, 2013). 'Charles Manson's turning point: Dale Carnegie classes'. Business Week. Archived from the original on September 25, 2013. Retrieved October 23, 2013.

External links[edit]

• How to Win Friends and Influence People at the Internet Archive

Summary

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie (1981, revised edition) is a classic in the self-help genre. The original edition was published in 1936, but despite the old fashioned language and entertaining but quaint anecdotes, Carnegie’s advice has proven remarkably evergreen.

If Carnegie’s ideas are to boiled down to one core idea, it can be found in a Henry Ford quote cited by the author: “If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.” Humans are selfish, proud and egotistical creatures. “People are not interested in you…they are interested in themselves.” Armed with this key psychological insight, Carnegie outlines a host of actionable habits that can be used to influence others and get what we want while giving others what they want in the process.

The book is structured into four parts. Part One teaches the basic techniques for interacting with others: refrain from criticism, offer sincere appreciation, and talk about the things other people are interested in. The next three parts of the book expand upon these basic concept through more specific recommendations that are presented as “principles.” For instance, in Part Two (Six Ways to Make People Like You), Carnegie emphasizes the importance of remembering a person’s name. “The average person is more interested in his or her own name than in all the other names on earth put together.” When you remember a person’s name, you are sending them a powerful message: your effort to remember makes the person feel important, unique, and appreciated.

Carnegie argues that his method is a better way to get what we want. There’s a kind of irony and simplicity to Carnegie’s ideas. In practice, these are extremely hard habits to develop. Reading thoughtful works like Carnegie’s is an opportunity to reflect on our self-centered nature and improve the quality of our interactions with other people.

Pros: Fresh and relevant ideas that might seem obvious but are frequently overlooked and ignored by most of us.

Cons: Language, style and examples are old fashioned (I enjoyed this aspect of the book, but it might bother others).

Verdict: 8/10

Notes & Highlights

Part One: Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

Principle 1: Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.

• “Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself.”

• Dangers of criticism:

  • Wounds a person’s pride.
  • Injures the person’s sense of importance.
  • Generates resentment.

• Hans Selye: People thirst for approval and dread condemnation.
• Consider the repercussions when you aim to criticize: Does the gain (relieving your feelings) justify the cost (hard feelings, resentment and resignation from the recipient)?
• Instead of trying to change others, first work to change and improve yourself. It is more profitable and less dangerous.
• “When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.”
• Carlyle: “A great man shows his greatness by the way he treats little men.”
• Try to understand the point of view of the other person in order to foster sympathy, tolerance and kindness.

Principle 2: Give honest and sincere appreciation.

• The only way to get someone do to something is to make the person want to do it.
• Delivering something a person wants is an effective strategy.
• John Dewey: The deepest urge in human nature is the desire to be important.

• Common wants:

  • Health and preservation of life.
  • Food and sleep.
  • Money and the things money buys.
  • Life in the hereafter.
  • Sexual gratification.
  • Well-being for our children.
  • A feeling of importance.

• “We nourish the bodies of our children and friends and employees, but how seldom do we nourish their self-esteem?”
• Appreciation is sincere; flattery is not.
• “Flattery is telling the other person precisely what he thinks about himself.”
• We spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about ourselves.
• Expressions of appreciation should be given both to family and friends as well as to people who help, service or inform us in our daily lives.
• “Try leaving a friendly trail of little sparks of gratitude on your daily trips. You will be surprised how they will set small flames of friendship that will be rose beacons on your next visit.”
• Make an effort to identify and verbalize the good points in others.

Principle 3: Arouse in the other person an eager want.

• “The only way on earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it.”
• Henry Ford: “If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.”
• Advice to sales people: Offer and demonstrate how your product can solve other people’s problems.
• “The world is full of people who are grabbing and self-seeking. So the rare individual who unselfishly tries to serve others has an enormous advantage. He has little competition.”

Part Two: Six Ways to Make People Like You

Principle 1: Become genuinely interested in other people.

• “People are not interested in you…they are interested in themselves—morning, noon and after dinner.”
• Alfred Adler: “It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring.”
• “One can win the attention and time and cooperation of even the most sought-after people by becoming genuinely interested in them.”
• “If we want to make friends, let’s put ourselves out to do things for other people—things that require time, energy, unselfishness and thoughtfulness.”
• Greet people with animation and enthusiasm.
• “A show of interest, as with every other principle of human relations, must be sincere. It must pay off not only for the person showing the interest, but for the person receiving the attention.”

Principle 2: Smile.

• The expression on your face is more important than the clothes you wear on your back.
• A smile communicates: “I like you, You make me happy. I am glad to see you.”
• “You must have a good time meeting people if you expect them to have a good time meeting you.”
• Shakespeare: “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”
• “Your smile is a messenger of good will.”

Principle 3: Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.

• “The average person is more interested in his or her own name than in all the other names on earth put together.”
• Remembering a person’s name and using it in conversation is a powerful but subtle compliment.
• “Most people don’t remember names, for the simple reason that they don’t take the time and energy necessary to concentrate and repeat and fix names indelibly in their minds. They make excuses for themselves; they are too busy.”

• Technique for remembering names:

  • If you do not hear the name clearly, ask for it to be repeated.
  • If the name is particularly challenging, ask for it to be spelled.
  • Repeat the name several times during a conversation.

• “The name sets the individual apart; it makes him or her unique among all others.”

Principle 4: Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.

• “Very important people have told me that they prefer good listeners to good talkers, but the ability to listen seems rarer than almost any other good trait.”
• “If you want to know how to make people shun you and laugh at you behind your back and even despise you, here is the recipe: Never listen to anyone for long. Talk incessantly about yourself. If you have an idea while the other person is talking, don’t wait for him or her to finish: bust right in and interrupt in the middle of a sentence.”
• “People who talk only of themselves think only of themselves.”
• In order to be a good conversationalist, you must be an attentive listener.
• “The people you are talking to are a hundred times more interested in themselves and their wants and problems than they are in you and your problems.”

Principle 5: Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.

• Guest of Theodore Roosevelt were astonished at his range of knowledge. But he had a secret trick he used: “Whenever Roosevelt expected a visitor, he sat up late the night before, reading up on the subject in which he knew his guest was particularly interested. For Roosevelt knew, as all leaders know, that the royal road to a person’s heart is to talk about the things he or she treasures most.”

Principle 6: Make the other person feel important—and do it sincerely.

• In order to say something kind about another person, observe and ask yourself: “What is there about this person that I can honestly admire?”
• Strive to radiate happiness and “pass on a bit of honest appreciation without trying to get something out of the other person in return…”
• William James: “The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.”

• Simple phrases that convey respect and politeness:

  • “I’m sorry to trouble you…”
  • “Would you be so kind as to…”
  • “Would you mind?”

• “All the people you meet feel themselves superior to you in some way, and a sure way to their hearts is to let them realize in some subtle way that you realize their importance, and recognize it sincerely.”

Part Three: How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

Principle 1: The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.

• “Why prove to a man he is wrong? Is that going to make him like you? Why not let him save his face? He didn’t ask for your opinion. He didn’t want it. Why argue with him?”
• “I have come to the conclusion that there is only one way under high heaven to get the best of an argument – and that is to avoid it. Avoid it as you would avoid rattlesnakes and earthquakes.”
• “Nine times out of ten, an argument ends with each of the contestants more firmly convinced than ever that he is absolutely right.”
• “You can’t win an argument. You can’t because if you lose it, you lose it; and if you win it, you lose it.”
• “Which would you rather have, an academic, theatrical victory or a person’s good will? You can seldom have both.”
• “A misunderstanding is never ended by an argument but by tact, diplomacy, conciliation and a sympathetic desire to see the other person’s viewpoint.”

• Suggestions for keeping a disagreement from escalating:

  • Welcome the disagreement.
  • Distrust your first instinctive impression.
  • Control your temper.
  • Listen first.
  • Look for areas of agreement.
  • Be honest.
  • Promise to think over your opponent’s ideas.
  • Thank your opponents for their interest.
  • Postpone action to think through the problem.

Principle 2: Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, ‘You’re wrong.’

• “If you can’t be sure of being right even 55% of the time, why should you tell other people they are wrong?”
• Telling people they are wrong strikes a direct blow at their “intelligence, judgement, pride and self-respect.”
• Galileo: You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him find it within himself.
• Phrases like “I might be wrong, but let’s examine the facts” is one way to diplomatically approach wrong ideas.
• “When we are wrong, we may admit it to ourselves. And if we are handled gently and tactfully, we may admit it to others and even take pride in our frankness and broad-mindedness. But not if someone else is trying to ram the unpalatable fact down our oesophagus.”
• Benjamin Franklin: ‘I made it a rule to forbear all direct contradiction to the sentiment of others, and all positive assertion of my own. I even forbade myself the use of every word or expression in the language that imported a fix’d opinion, such as “certainly,” “undoubtedly,” etc., and I adopted, instead of them, “I conceive,” “I apprehend,” or “I imagine” a thing to be so or so, or “it so appears to me at present.”

Principle 3: If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.

• “If we know we are going to be rebuked anyhow, isn’t it far better to beat the other person to it and do it ourselves? Isn’t it much easier to listen to self-criticism than to bear condemnation from alien lips?”
• “There is a certain degree of satisfaction in having the courage to admit one’s errors. It not only clears the air of guilt and defensiveness, but often helps solve the problem created by the error.”
• “When we are right, let’s try to win people gently and tactfully to our way of thinking, and when we are wrong – and that will be surprisingly often, if we are honest with ourselves – let’s admit our mistakes quickly and with enthusiasm.”
• Proverb: By fighting you never get enough, but by yielding you get more than you expected.

Principle 4: Begin in a friendly way.

• Lincoln: “It is an old and true maxim that ‘a drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall.’ So with men, if you would win a man to your cause, first convince him that you are his sincere friend. Therein is a drop of honey that catches his heart; which, say what you will, is the great high road to his reason.”
• Friendliness begets friendliness.

Principle 5: Get the other person saying ‘yes, yes’ immediately.

• Emphasize the things with which you agree and defer considering the areas in which you differ.
• Emphasize that both parties want the same goal and that any difference is one of methodology rather than purpose.
• “A ‘No’ response…is a most difficult handicap to overcome. When you have said ‘No,’ all your pride of personality demands that you remain consistent with yourself. You may later feel that the ‘No’ was ill-advised; nevertheless, there is your precious pride to consider! Once having said a thing, you feel you must stick to it.”
• Look to the Socratic method: “His whole technique…was based upon getting a ‘yes, yes’ response. He asked questions with which his opponent would have to agree…until he had an armful of yeses. He kept on asking questions until finally, almost without realizing it, his opponents found themselves embracing a conclusion they would have bitterly denied a few minutes previously.”

Principle 6: Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.

• “Most people trying to win others to their way of thinking do too much talking themselves.”
• La Rouchefoucauld: If you want enemies, excel your friends; but if you want friends, let your friends excel you.
• Talk less and listen more.

Principle 7: Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.

• “No one likes to feel that he or she is being sold something or told to do a thing. We much prefer to feel that we are buying of our own accord or acting on our own ideas. We like to be consulted about our wishes, our wants, our thoughts.”
• For businesses one important lesson is to get feedback from your customers on how best to solve their problem.
• Results are more important than getting credit for an idea.
• Lao-tse: ‘The reason why rivers and seas receive the homage of a hundred mountain streams is that they keep below them. Thus they are able to reign over all the mountain streams. So the sage, wishing to be above men, puts himself below them; wishing to be before them, he puts himself behind them. Thus, though his place be above men, they do not feel his weight; though his place be before them, they do not count it an injury.’

Principle 8: Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.

• “There is a reason why the other man thinks and acts as he does. Ferret out that reason – and you have the key to his actions, perhaps to his personality.”
• Gerald Nirenberg: “Cooperativeness in conversation is achieved when you show that you consider the other person’s ideas and feelings as important as your own.”

Principle 9: Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.

• Dale Carnegie’s “magic phrase” for stopping arguments and creating good will: “I don’t blame you one iota for feeling as you do. If I were you, I would undoubtedly feel just as you do.”
• “Three-fourths of the people you will ever meet are hungering and thirsting for sympathy. Give it to them, and they will love you.”

Principle 10: Appeal to the nobler motives.

• “All people you meet have a high regard for themselves and like to be fine and unselfish in their own estimation.”
• “A person usually has two reasons for doing a thing: one that sounds good and a real one.”
• One strategy for changing or influencing others is to appeal to their nobler motives. Make an appeal to the person’s sense of honesty, fairness, integrity and sincerity.

Principle 11: Dramatize your ideas.

• “Merely stating a truth isn’t enough. The truth has to be made vivid, interesting, dramatic.”
• This idea is necessary in order to earn attention and stand above your peers and competitors.

Principle 12: Throw down a challenge.

• Charles Schwab: “The way to get things done is to stimulate competition. I do not mean in a sordid money-getting way, but in the desire to excel.”
• Interesting, stimulating and exciting work is, in itself, a kind of motivation for people: it makes them look forward to the challenge.
• The desire to excel instills a feeling of importance in people and feeling important is one of the greatest universal desires.

Part Four: Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment

Principle 1: Begin with praise and honest appreciation.

• “It is always easier to listen to unpleasant things after we have heard some praise of our good points.”
• “Beginning with praise is like the dentist who begins his work with Novocain. The patient still gets a drilling, but the Novocain is pain-killing.”

Principle 2: Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.

• Consider eliminating the word “but”: “Many people begin their criticism with sincere praise followed by the word ‘but’ and ending with a critical statement.” The part after the “but” makes people question the sincerity of the initial praise.

• Change the word “but” to “and.” The result is no inference of failure in the second part of the statement.

  • Example with “but”: ‘We’re really proud of you, Johnnie, for raising your grades this term. But if you had worked harder on your algebra, the results would have been better.’
  • Example with “and”: ‘We’re really proud of you, Johnnie, for raising your grades this term, and by continuing the same conscientious efforts next term, your algebra grade can be up with all the others.’

• “Calling attention to one’s mistakes indirectly works wonders with sensitive people who may resent bitterly any direct criticism.”

Principle 3: Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.

• “It isn’t nearly so difficult to listen to a recital of your faults if the person criticizing begins by humbly admitting that he, too, is far from impeccable.”

Principle 4: Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.

• Asking questions gives others a chance to figure out how to do things themselves and gives them ownership and a sense of importance over the task.
• “Asking questions not only makes an order more palatable; it often stimulates the creativity of the persons whom you ask. People are more likely to accept an order if they have had a part in the decision that caused the order to be issued.”

Principle 5: Let the other person save face.

• “We ride roughshod over the feelings of others, getting our own way, finding fault, issuing threats, criticizing a child or an employee in front of others, without even considering the hurt to the other person’s pride. Whereas a few minutes’ thought, a considerate word or two, a genuine understanding of the other person’s attitude, would go so far toward alleviating the sting!”
• “Even if we are right and the other person is definitely wrong, we only destroy ego by causing someone to lose face.”
• Antoine de Saint-Exupery: I have no right to say or do anything that diminishes a man in his own eyes. What matters is not what I think of him, but what he thinks of himself. Hurting a man in his dignity is a crime.

Principle 6: Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be ‘hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.’

• “You who are reading these lines possess powers of various sorts which you habitually fail to use; and one of these powers you are probably not using to the fullest extent is your magic ability to praise people and inspire them with a realization of their latent possibilities.”
• “Abilities wither under criticism; they blossom under encouragement.”
• Be specific in your praise: “Everybody likes to be praised, but when praise is specific, it comes across as sincere – not something the other person may be saying just to make one feel good.”

Influential People

Principle 7: Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.

Win Friends And Influence People Dale Carnegie Bangla Pdf Version

• “If you want to improve a person in a certain respect, act as though that particular trait were already one of his or her outstanding characteristics.”

Principle 8: Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.

• Emphasize the positive and be careful not to discourage through too much focus on mistakes and errors.
• The goal is to foster a desire to improve rather than foster a desire to quit.
• “Be liberal with your encouragement, make the thing seem easy to do, let the other person know that you have faith in his ability to do it, that he has an undeveloped flair for it – and he will practice until the dawn comes in the window in order to excel.”

Principle 9: Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

Win Friends And Influence People Dale Carnegie Bangla Pdf Download

• Making the person feel important is key.
• When asking someone to perform a task that might seem undesirable, be sure to consider and articulate the benefits that align with the person’s wants.
• “It is naïve to believe you will always get a favorable reaction from other persons when you use these approaches, but the experience of most people shows that you are more likely to change attitudes this way than by not using these principles – and if you increase your successes by even a mere 10 percent, you have become 10 percent more effective as a leader than you were before – and that is your benefit.”